Snow Dogs (2002)

I'm not going to entirely tear up this film like I do to most I review. Snow Dogs is an entertaining family film. If you want to take your kids to a silly family film or you want to see some breathtaking shots of the Vancover wilderness, go see this movie.

But if you want to see Cuba Gooding Jr. in an Oscar winning performace, then don't go see Snow Dogs. I know what Snow Dogs is, it's a light-hearted family film. Gooding did a great job at this, he kept it fun and I am glad to see that he is willing to act in a variety of roles. But for Christmas Sake, how many times do we need to see him slip on the ice and fall on his ass? Once it was hilarious, twice it was funny, but after the tenth time of Gooding slipping on the ice, I kind of wish he would have cracked his head open and the film would end.

Here's the plot, Gooding plays Ted, a dentist in Miami who finds out that he was adopted and his recently deceased biological mother was a dog sled racer in Alaska. Gooding travels to Alaska for the reading of the will. There he meets the gruff Thunder Jack ( James Coburn ), the ultra-hottie Barb the bartender ( Joanna Bacalso ) and his mother's rag-tag misfit sled dog team. Hilarity ensues.

Notable performances include Nichelle Nichols, Star Treks Lt. Uhura, who plays Gooding's adoption mother; Bryan Doyle-Murray, who plays the town drunk, and Sisqo, Goodings dental partner. I'm not a fan of the Thong Song Man, but he did do a good job playing a poofter. The dogs in this film were the canine version of the Seven Dwarfs. There was the leader, the dumb one, the one who liked to eat, the one who liked to sleep and so on and so forth, fairly formulaic. They don't like Gooding in the begining of the film, the leader bites Gooding in the ass about nine times, Gooding earns their trust then they do heroic shit that no one expected them to do to save Gooding. Pretty simple.

If I could have directed this film and improved it, I would have changed the whole PG rating and done some crazy Cujo shit. One dog was bad ass, but imagine seven. I would have totally cut out the whole Gooding adoption part and focused on the dogs flipping out and terrorizing the town. Sisqo and Gooding are still dentists, but get turned into FBI dentists/rabid dog hunters and have to fight these dogs before they take over all of Alaska. First scene, the dogs attack Sisqo and the lead dog makes him his bitch. Maybe some aliens, but definitely big rocket-powered dog sleds. I also would have made the dogs have British accents and eye patches. The final scene would be on top of this snow covered mountain with Gooding fighting the lead dog and throwing him down a deep crevass and saying, "When you get to doggy hell, tell 'em The Dentist sent you." Just an idea.