Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002)

George Lucas has learned his lesson. Nearly all of the mistakes that made Episode I so dreadful are thankfully absent in the latest installment of the Star Wars saga. The story has gotten more interesting, the effects are much improved, and the irritating Jar Jar Binks gets very little screen time. Attack of the Clones is not only better than the pitiful Phantom Menace, it's arguably even better than Return of the Jedi. Lucas seems to have written this Episode to parallel The Empire Strikes Back, and it works very well.

That's not to say there aren't still shortcomings. Even with the addition of a co-writer, Lucas still struggles with dialogue. The first half-hour is especially clumsy. I think George still needs to understand the difference between pedantic dialogue vs. action dialogue. Too often he has the Jedi speaking in a very rigid, formal structure right in the middle of a lightsaber battle. I know the Jedi are supposed to be calm in every situation, but save the formalized structure for teaching, and use something more realistic during battle. Especially bad are some of Yoda's lines. When he's imparting wisdom to a young Jedi, Yoda's reversed grammar is hella-cool. But he sounds downright silly using the same structure to issue battle orders: "Around the survivors a perimeter create." Lame.

Lucas also seems to have failed poli-sci. Portman's Queen Amidala character is now only a Senator, because her two terms of eligibility for election have expired. What the hell is up with that? Kings and Queens exist only in a monarchy, and are granted their status for life based on birthright. Any student of Monty Python and the Holy Grail can tell you that you don't vote for kings. C'mon, George. It's obvious that he can't decide whether Star Wars is supposed to be a fairy tale, with kings and princesses and evil wizards, or a lesson in the importance of democracy.

Another problem is Lucas' apparent inconsistencies with his own story. The overall plot is right, but the details seem screwed up. Like C-3PO calling Anakin "Master Ani". I can't imagine a protocol droid ever foregoing that etiquette to call its own creator by a nickname. Furthermore, at one point in the film, Anakin and the droids visit Tatooine where they meet up with Anakin's stepbrother Owen, the same Uncle Owen who will later be guardian of Luke. But in Episode IV, Owen has no memory of ever stumbling across these same droids before. Also troubling is that C-3PO spends considerable time in the company of characters who are discussing Obi-Wan Kenobi, so he is obviously aware of his existence. Yet in Episode IV 3PO accuses R2-D2 of being mental when he says he has a message for Kenobi. Why would a droid "forget" one of his past contacts? And the whole idea of Anakin meeting Owen is problematic, too. Why wouldn't Anakin (as Darth Vader) later suspect Owen's farm as a possible hiding place for Luke? Lucas had better make sure that Anakin never knows he has a child at all, because otherwise it's just silly to think that Vader wouldn't closely monitor Owen for signs of treachery.

But to some extent I'm nitpicking here, so let's get back to what Georgie did right. Number one is the action. Episode II has action, real bad-mofo, lightsaber-swinging, high-speed spacecraft action, not just some lame pod-race. And the light-saber battles are far more involved and satisfying than the brief duels with Darth Maul and his anti-climactic death-by-falling from Episode I. The other part of Phantom Menace's crappy ending, the part where Anakin falls ass-backwards into blowing up a starship, is gone here as well, being replaced by one that is much more action-packed, with the sort of down-note ending that made Empire so great.

Number two is the improved effects. Episode I looked very fake at times, especially the outdoor battles on the plains of Naboo. Attack is much more realistic looking, and I rarely, if ever, found myself cursing some part that didn't look real enough. The depiction of Yoda is especially improved. He looked like a cartoon in Phantom, here he is much more realistic.

The third improvement was a more muted, less irritating form of humor. Lucas still felt the need to insert humorous moments in the final battle scene. But, unlike the atrocious Jar-Jar hijinks in Episode I, C-3PO's pratfalls in this film are far more tasteful and less disruptive to the mood of the film.

Fourth, Lucas added some excellent spice with Anakin's flirtations with the Dark Side. Although he's a bit whiny at times, we see enough flashes of anger and rage to convince us that the best is yet to come. Also very cool were the subtle insertions of the Imperial March theme at times when Anakin's wrath is at its peak.

Last but not least was the welcome addition of some tail. Natalie Portman's assets are shown off relatively well in Attack, and her scenes with Christensen are surprisingly good.

All in all, Attack of the Clones is indeed worthy of being part of the Star Wars franchise, but it makes Phantom Menace look that much worse. Now that Lucas has shown that he is still capable of making a good film, he'll go back and completely re-film Episode I to bring it up to snuff with the rest of the saga. Here's hoping.