Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

The tagline for the new installment of everyone's Swinging Spy is "The Secret Will Be Exposed". Here's the secret: this movie-- much like many other sequels-- sucks. Ghostbusters II, Ace Ventura II, any James Bond film post-Sean Connery, and now Austin Powers in Goldmember can all be lumped together as bad ideas gone terribly right.

Here's the story, Austin Powers, played by Mike Myers, captures Dr. Evil, played by Mike Myers, and then finds out his father has been kidnapped, played by Michael Caine. Austin goes back in time and meets up with Foxxy Cleopatra, played by Beyonce Knowles (of Destiny's Child fame and favorite "quiet time thought" for Greg), who informs Austin his father was kidnapped by a Dutch Hedonist named Goldmember, also played by Mike Myers. Gratuitous sexual situations and previously done comic devices ensue.

Where did this film go wrong? Mike went to the well too many times. They did the whole Dr. Evil-interrupting-Scott Evil joke, the whole-Clint Howard-seeing-some-sexual-organ-on-his-radar-screen joke, a-foreign-hot-chick-with-a-sexual-sounding-name-that-Austin-doesn't- get-at-first-joke, and the Dr. Evil-describing-his-plan-but-calls- everything-by-odd-names-and-Scott Evil-makes-fun-of-him joke.

Another problem was the new characters. In the first Austin Powers film it was Myers playing Austin and Dr. Evil. Two totally new and very funny characters. The second film brought us Fat Bastard and Mini Me. Two different characters that were also very funny. By the third installment Myers produced Goldmember. Goldmember was basically a cross of Dr. Evil and Fat Bastard. I sort of wished Austin would have done a Canadian character like an evil French lumberjack or an evil Jewish talkshow host.

The movie wasn't all bad though. Verne Troyer returned as Mini Me, Beyonce Knowles did a great job spoofing a composite of Pam Grier characters from the 1970's and I thought Fred Savage's character, The Mole, was funny. The cameos were also very entertaining, which included Tom Cruise, Danny DeVito, the Osbournes and Gwyenth Paltrow.

Ultimately, this film just tried too hard. Too many characters bogged down the script. For example, Michael Caine's character, Nigel Powers, was even lost and sort of useless. I hope there will not be another Austin Powers film, but the ending hints towards yet another sequel. I just hope the next one will include two hosts of a public access television show which is filmed in Aurora, IL.